It can be very frustrating for family and friends when an older person won't get or wear hearing aids. Everyone around them struggles to communicate with them but they still seem either stubborn or unaware that it is a problem. It becomes more obvious at family gatherings. The older person keeps asking those around her to repeat things. And it's hard to be patient.
She finally did get them and it made things much better for her and for everyone else. As long as she wears them, that is. Sometimes she forgets to put them in her ears. Sometimes she finds them uncomfortable and just decides not to wear them. Then she doesn't hear the phone ring and I'm sure a lot of other things go unnoticed too. Here at AgingParents.com we advocate keeping in close contact with the elders in your life. We keep calling her until she hears the phone or we call someone to go check on her.
You'd think that if one couldn't hear well you would want to get help. But so often aging parents refuse what seems like a relatively straightforward solution. There are a lot of reasons why parents or even our own colleagues and friends don't realize that their hearing is declining as they reach 65 or beyond. It can be the all too common denial of aging. It can be pride. We don't want to look "old". For some it is the expense--something not covered by Medicare and it costs thousands of dollars. It can be the discomfort of having a device in one's ear that is an unaccustomed feeling. It can itch or feel unpleasant for some. Background noise can be distorted. But if the older person understands that it is a burden for those they care about that might be a selling point to persuade them to get their hearing tested. Test results can be convincing.
What can family members do with an elder who is driving them nuts with the "what did you say" again and again? Here are a few things that might help.
1. Gather a few of the frustrated family members, approach your loved one and gently explain that the hearing loss is something all of you have noticed. You need to mention that has become burdensome to keep repeating all you try to communicate to her. Most people don't want to burden their children.
2. Suggest getting a hearing test. Do your research in advance about where to go and the cost, in case hearing aids are recommended. Offer to help if the cost is a burden.
3. If you need to accompany your loved one to get this done, it's worth it. People who do not hear well tend to withdraw from social interactions and can become depressed and isolated.
4. Get an amplifier for aging parents phones. Some devices are free for hearing impaired people with a doctor's verification. For significant hearing loss, text-connected screens can also improve telephone communication
Don't expect miracles with any hearing aid. They have their quirks, need battery changes fairly often, and can become uncomfortable for some people who must wear them all day. However it is a big relief for the people in an aging parent's life when he can hear better again. And it is likely to improve life for your loved one right away too. Respect that getting any device may be hard for the older person to accept but keep urging this change if you can. It affects their safety along with your frustration level. And it's not just our aging parents whose hearing may be diminishing a bit. As Boomers, it's our friends and spouses too. Watch for technology to develop into this growing market as Boomers age and want hearing devices better, less expensive and smaller for themselves.
